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Groupism vs. friendship

Saturday, January 07, 2006

Group: A number of individuals or things considered together because of similarities.

Friend: A person whom one knows, likes, and trusts.

Five sharks (5th standard), RAB (7th standard), Rahon (8th standard), Bhaizone (10th standard), R.A.A.D (College), RGP (AIMK) current grp.

These are the groups that I use to belong during my school days and college life.....

I really don't have any idea why I get myself into group... maybe in search of long lasting friendship; recently I’ve realized that friendship and groupism are two different things.

In group may be you are around the person who has your kind of taste and preference but one thing is for sure that the whole group can't be you friend no matter how you try and even if you try you'll end up with no friends only group members...

Coz it's better to have few friends and in groups, members are many....

Even if I don't have ubiquitous taste and preference but I like to talk with all kind of people and interact with them, also I try to do friendship with them, most of the time I found other people very friendly and helpful.

When you are in group you can’t share your feelings and **hidden words with group coz they’ll fly your feelings in air, coz that’s the one of the motive of group – have fun.

I’m not saying that I don’t have any friends from my group in fact I’ve great friends from these groups. But right now I’m facing a great emotional crisis which is Groupism vs. friendship. From few months (from july2005) I’m noticing that my friends from the group are ignoring me (which I hate most - the ignorance from friend) the degree of ignorance has increased day by day and now I feel that they had started chuckling over me.

Sometimes I get myself into dilemma whether to go with friends or with the group. It’s a dilemma for me coz it’s like choosing one friend out of two.

What is friendship for me?

Definition of friendship in my dictionary is very simple, for me friends are those who respect my feelings, shows me right path, understand me, last but not the least who don’t ignore me.

I’ve noticed my behavior through out my life time that those who ignore me I also start ignoring that person and I never ever take any step for damage control measures. This means end of friendship which is the most painful thing for me at that time my heart breaks apart. Coz I never want to loose any of my friends.

Let’s see whether I could be able control damages this time or not, if I see my past records…. I never succeed.

**hidden words - term coined by No One

Hey...how are u doing? ...nice to see an update...well it seems as if those friends that have been ignoring you ...definitely mean something to you...maybe alot....well don't ignore them back as u used to in the past...go upto them and just casually ask...like "what's going on?"..." We don't hang out as often"..."do u guys wanna do something over the weekend?"...if they deny or just say "no they are too busy"...then they are just being assholes...and u shud enjoy time with those kickass hostel pals of urs who made u drink....ahahah...come on..that's what friends are...:)    

thanx for advice....
i'll definitly try it out....
but some of them are really good friends...... from few days they are behaving very strangely ..i don't know why.......................    

hey...go up to them and ask....just casually...so u don't sound to desperate :))...maybe they have something going on in their lives....and they might just open up when u ask...good luck with that...let us all know how it turns out...wish u the best.    

Mmh... i'm not very good in this kind of situation too as i have the similar experience. Well, if they are friends that you don't want to lose, then you have to be initiative, talk to them about your concern, be frank in a way that won't hurt their feeling. Sometimes they might be having some problem and waiting for your help...    

Mmh... i'm not very good in this kind of situation too as i have the similar experience. Well, if they are friends that you don't want to lose, then you have to be initiative, talk to them about your concern, be frank in a way that won't hurt their feeling. Sometimes they might be having some problem and waiting for your help...    

@ No One : last evening we went to flower show and after that we went for shopping it was great fun... i'll post the pictures...soon... thanx for the wishes and suggestions...

@ gazard : you right, i don't wanna loose any friend of mine, also i never hurt anyone's feeling....coz i can't....    

Good to hear that! Thinks simple, lives happier! ^_^    

Hi, I found your blog from a link on the blogger templates site, where people complain about the K1 template lol...I'm thinking of changing my template to this one too, and I wanted to ask you, how did you get the comments link to say " 7 comments" , that is you can actually see the word "comments", whereas originally you only see "comments" when you put your curser over it? email me at kimpulzion@yahoo.com

Also on the friends vs. group things, I totally understand. It's sort of the same with my group of friends, whom I haven't even heard from most of them in a couple of months. Sometimes I wonder if it's a normal thing, for as people grow older they tend to get busier and have less time to socialize. It's annoying, you get tired of waiting for them and feel you have to pin them down sometimes...but if they're your friends they'll be there for you when you really need them.    

hey rajesh, good article but i guess it also shows your confused state of mind.Though i myself am no expert on this issue but i guess its best to wake up each morning with a positive frame of mind and not worry too much about whos doing what,and how they r behaving with u, just be happy with yourself.... with what u are, other things will fall itself in place. and especially in todays world its the biggest mistake to expect things from others.... u know too well, life today is about pressure and deadlines and commitments, everyone is so involved in this mad rush that they sometimes do things which probably they r not even aware of.Dont take such things to heart and never jump to conclusions,,,,,,and hey if i may-not intending to sound too philosophical but i read somewhere that "let the bird fly away,it may be gone for long,if it returns it was and will always be yours and if it doesnt return it never was yours......u can try buying a new bird :))"    

I recently got the same blog template (or very similar one) to your. I was wondering how you got the comment posting to work, and could you inform me? Thanks.


I've used the K2 template for my blog. But I have failed to fix the problem of the sidebar going down in IE. Works fine with Firefox. Please help... Also how do I change the comment links to display "4 Comments" instead of just "4"

Help will be appreciated.

Abhishek Nandakumar    

You can remember the OB classes about group behaviors, You can remember the OB classes about group behaviors, which depends upon space and time, for example, the groups you mention are educational so they have a purpose. Moreover, it is the basic thing about the group. As time passes, it is natural that groups will disappear. Be a man not to chase your old group. And be rational that you can’t be good friend to everyone unless you use it in a very broader meaning.
Whenever, you are a part of a group, you can expect that with someone, you are closer or you can have lifetime friendship with them. For me I lives in present not in past, but with some of my friends I have such relationship that if I meet them after a decade, we will fell we just meet yesterday. Moreover, if you have such relationship with any of your friends they will always remain alive in your mind.    

By Anonymous joydeep on 1/17/2006 04:13:00 AM

@ Kim, Aaron & Abhishek: i'll sort out yourblog problem but now days i'mlittle busy... so please forgiveme for delay

NN & Joy: thanx for suggestion i'll reply back coz i've class rite now....and today we have 4 classes... so it really busy schedule for me....    

nn:"let the bird fly away,it may be gone for long,if it returns it was and will always be yours and if it doesnt return it never was yours......u can try buying a new bird :))"

if we look other side of this statment which was a pet dialogue of one of my friend from RAAD and today she is no more my friend and disappeared somewhere, the reason was only that we both believed in this satement and non of us tried to take initiative to return back and always thought she will rturn back or may be she also thought that i'll be back but lend up no where....

Joydeep: you are a great men with strong heart and controlled sentiments but in my case i'm too much emotional and my sentiments are out of my control........and also my heart is not that strong may i've perception problem about me but as i always i'm the biggest problem not forhuman kind but for me,myself.    

@ Kim, Aaron & Abhishek:

sorry for the delay...i was little busy...
i think you'd asked about the comment problem...

so here is the secret :

[a href="[$BlogItemPermalinkUrl$]"][$BlogItemTitle$][/a][/h3]





what you have to do is to find following tags in your template and makes some changes as i'd striked that with bold letters....if can't figure out, do ping me again....


Hi rajesh, I know u r a very emotional person. U take everything very personally.
The problem here may b ur group ppl dont like ur outside friends (not in group). May b they r very conservative towards the group.
I think u must talk 2 them indirectly abt the problems, abt their views or they might have some other problems in their life. Try 2 b theirs , they will b urs.

Listen to ur heart, If u think those who can understand u..go with them don't bother abt others.    

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